Life Before Surgery

Before undergoing gastric bypass surgery, waking up each day was something I feared because I hated leaving my home.  For most of my teenage years, I was overweight and after a major back surgery in 1999, I slowly gained weight until I reached my highest weight of 326.  Each day was a struggle and there were many days that I barely managed to get out of bed.  Personal and professional relationships were severely strained because I had become so depressed; I wouldn't even leave my house unless I had to work, attend class or buy groceries.  In additon to the depression, I was a borderline diabetic.  All throughout my life I had been the person who would always do for others and I never considered myself a priority. 

Making the Decision

Several experiences in my life validated my need to have gastric bypass surgery.  I can recall being humiliated when I went to a baseball game with my family and I couldn't sit in the seats reserved for us.  I was incredibly uncomfortable the entire time and I vowed to never again go to a place with stadium seats--including theaters.  As my weight increased, I found it harder to find clothes suitable for a young woman.  I would always cry as I tried on clothing because I could never find apparel that was flattering for a curvy body.  After overcoming denial, I realized being fat wasn't flattering.  

Two of the most eye opening experiences that guided me to surgery included being accepted into Michigan State University's Master's Degree in Nursing/Family Nurse Practitioner program.  I worked diligently for years to be accepted into this program and I completed the first year with a 4.0 grade point average.  When the second year approached, I realized I would have to go on-campus for the last two years, and I allowed my weight to control my life.  After going to college for eight years, I dropped out because I could not go on-campus feeling and looking the way I did.  I was so ashamed and embarrassed and I did not want to be in public anymore than I had to.

The last experience that pushed me towards surgery was the birth of my son, Keaton.  I knew that I had to make drastic changes in my life if I wanted to be a good mother to my son.  I wanted to be healthy, active and loving.  The bottom line was--I couldn't be any of those things if I didn't lose weight and I needed to love myself first.